The Confused Lord: A Tale of Left and Right
Once upon a time, in The Land of Left Nostrils, there lived a confused Lord, lovingly referred to as Lord Umptee Dumptee. Now this wasn't a regular Lord, his confusion was so high that it would make a tornado look like a calm breeze. But that's what made him loved and endearingly funny. His main source of confusion – which entrance is left and which is right.
One fine morning, the Lord woke up and said to his servant, "Today, I must remember left from right."
"My Lord," the servant nodded, "Today shall be the day." The last part was whispered within the walls of his chest.
As if ready for any endeavor, Lord Umptee Dumptee decided to take his morning walk. He confronted his first major challenge - a fork in the road. He stood there, scratching his half-awake head, donned in his royal sleepwear (which unsurprisingly had a stitched 'L' and 'R' on either sides). "Now which way to go," he mused. His loyal servant, seeing the predicament his master was in, discretely pointed towards the left while standing on the lord's right.
His lordship, in all his everyday confusion, thought the servant was pointing to his own left and gleefully took the right road, imagining how he had finally gotten the hang of it. The servant gave a silent sigh, following his master's trail.
Lord Umptee Dumptee quite savored his erroneous triumph, that is until he ran into a dining hall where a grand breakfast was set for the Duke. Embarrassed at his amusing navigation skills, he tried to convince the Duke, "You see, I thought I’d breakfast with you today!".
The Duke merely nodded good-naturedly, having been a witness to similar instances. The Lord spent the day excited about his newly found 'directional skills,' navigating through several wrong turns, yet attributed his failures to everything else but his inability to differentiate between his left and right.
He blamed the servant for silently pointing directions, the un-aligned stars for messing up with his destiny, the furious wind banging the castle doors (yet surprisingly not his funny headgear) for distracting him, and even accused the castle floors for being wrongly placed.
One can imagine the Castle being in uproarious laughter if it had a voice of its own. The day passed, allowing the twilight to sneakily replace the setting sun. Over an incredibly mismanaged day, Lord Umptee Dumptee finally found himself in his private study – again facing the perennial dilemma of ‘left or right.’
"My Lord," the servant offered gently, "The right door leads to the library, the left door leads to Lady Godiva's boudoir." He discretely pointed to the right door.
Yet, as expected, much to his servant’s dismay, His lordship's face lit up, and he walked into the left door. What followed was the scream of the venerable Lady Godiva, followed by the loud, innocent laughter of Lord Umptee Dumptee, echoing through the marble halls of the castle.
And thus ended another typical misdirected day in the life of our dear directionally impaired lord, leaving a trail of laughter and bemused shakes of heads at his antics.
A lesson one could draw from his hilariously chaotic life? Learning left from right can be both a puzzlement for some and a source of endless entertainment for others. In this circular world, directions may get you lost but it's the fun of the journey that is worth cherishing!
Our beloved Lord Umptee Dumptee continued in his own unique fashion, and people continued to love him even more for his innocently funny quirks. So till the day he finally learns his correct left from right, we sigh, we laugh and look forward to another day of loud humor.
The End.
